abo sa dila

I was born by the river,

sang Sam, and so was I.

Or was it a lake in summer

as it moved towards dryness,

crabs and catfish snuggling

up the banks? I know how it is

to fear the monsoon months,

to hum to the rain's sad refrain.

Ask me how it is to be a man

and I will say, Unyielding,

like a lake. Ask the water

about the many names for yielding

and it will answer in the voice of a fist,

unclenching. Or was it an eye,

leaning towards rain, filling

like a puddle on those monsoon months,

mud blurring the edges, a ripple

throbbing, then stilling itself?

I was born by a lake,

and I know how it is

to carry water with me.

Even now I can hear its song.

Let go, be still, let go.

and here's what I say:

God's not into sadness. He says it's a waste of time.

So, the grief I feel almost every day,

what Buddha says we've got coming to us,

should not be all that drives these--

what shall I call them?-- earned poems.

I don't know if this proves it but I just came off the beach

with my dog, Walt. The whole way out and back

in a cool rain he ran from scent to luxurious scent,

poking his nose into washed-up seaweed,

rolling in what was left of a dead seagull, rotten fish,

pissing on those things worthy of it

and almost everything was.

I'm trying to learn from my little dog

that there is nothing that is not God, is not here

for our happiness. Me, all the time I'm sunk down

in my wet jacket, unforgiving of a botched love

while he pesters me with a soggy stick, tells me

to throw it, please throw it.

- Tom Crawford, from "Wu Wei: Poems"

The House of Representatives voted to approve the Con-Ass resolution tonight. Basically, it's a big "Fuck off" to the Senate regarding the Cha-cha issue. It's a big "Fuck off" to every decent, thinking Filipino, which I think is the other 90+ million who hate Gloria's guts. 

Basically it's a big "Fuck off" to anyone who thinks that they can stop Gloria from holding on to power. It's a big "Fuck off" to me, and to you.

Well, we're not just about ready to fuck off.

Butch G., a friend from the UP Workshop, says, "Grabe... Hindi ako tibak. Pero naniniwala akong may mga isyung hindi pwedeng palagpasin. Isa ito sa mga hindi pwedeng ikebs. Grrrr. what do we do?"

To start with? Everything we can. 

You remember that thing, that one thing you can do well, and believe that it's worth doing, and hold on to it for goddamn life, and do it, do it the best way you can. You do it while thinking how fucking angry you are at this mess your congressmen got you in, and you let your rage drive you forward. You write about it if you're a writer. You sing about it if you're a singer.You make it known that you will not stand idly by, that you will not keep watching those goddamn sex videos and reading those goddamn tarpaulins that say "Ramdam na ang Kaunlaran," when all the while those fucking assholes in congress are scheming to keep the hungry hungry, the poor poor, the rich so fucking fat and insulated from what you see everyday on your way to your thankless job. You do everything you can.

And you don't, you never, fuck off.  You strap those boots on and go to the streets and scream at the top of your lungs. You tell those assholes, "No, YOU fuck off. This is my country." 

*

1.

The second flight was worse. There was a guy sitting next to you that smelled like he'd slept in a giant gym sock. And it wasn't a violent smell, like a fart. A fart you could understand. It comes on strong, punches you in the face and then it fades into the crowd. Not this -- this was an underhanded, passive-aggressive smell. This smell was like a girlfriend moping around the house with a sad look on her face, looking absolutely heart-broken, moaning, groaning and begging for attention. You ask her "What's wrong?" She sighs, looks away and says: "Nothing." Forcing you to keep at it, attending to her until she's ready to stop acting. Never-ending. Annoying.

- Coleman Collins

Check out the whole post. That last paragraph? Tangina ang galing.

2.

In other news: Looks like there's an upset in the making in the Eastern Conference Finals. Everyone's been gearing for LeBron vs. Kobe in the Finals, but lookee here-- Orlando's up 3-1. Been rooting for them, actually, since the T-Mac/ Grant Hill days. And now with Dwight and those 3-point bombers there, I'm sure that their 4-out, 1-in offense will give L.A. problems; the Lakers are good interior defenders, they can body up in the post and clog the passing lanes, but I'm not sure if they have the legs to keep up with Orlando's side-to-side ball swings. We'll see.

3.

And would you believe that I haven't seen a single quarter of these playoffs? Moved to QC, been here for a month now. Don't yet have TV. DSL's all set to be installed this week though. Funny text there, from the ISP: "Ser 3-5 days po ikakabit na internet ninyo naka-dispots na."

Dispots? Yol and I spent more than a few moments trying to make sense of it, until, "Aaaaah."

Dispatch.

4.

Speaking of Dispatch:

Oh, and it's 90's night this Saturday, Mag:Net Katipunan. Los Chupacabras will be playing a few songs. I'm trying to sneak in a Counting Crows song, but I'm not very hopeful. Do drop by.

Earlier today, habang nagsasalita sa Liga ng Barangay ang marami sa mga presidentiable, nagkakagulo naman ang Senado sa pagdating ni Katrina Halili. Habang humihirit sina Allan Peter Cayetano tungkol sa mga sex scandal, wala ni isa sa hanay nila ang nakahirit ng, "Ngyek. Digs ko na may halaga ito, pero nasaan ang ingay nu'ng kasagsagan ng Dumaguete at La Salle sex scandal? Di ba may mga mas mahalagang dapat pag-usapan dito ngayon?" Ayos.

Tsamba? Puwede. But you can't help but think that there could be some unseen hand pulling the strings here. And you can't help but admire how skillful that hand is.

Just last week, Villar's buddies walked out of a Senate hearing where evidence was presented against the good Senator, concerning the C-5 mess. Allegations left and right here: ini-realign daw ang C-5 para dumaan sa lupa niya, para tumaas ang value ng lupa na bibilhin ng gobyerno. Sa madaling sabi, minaniobra ang sistema. Suwak.

At the same time, Villar called a press-con asserting his innocence, going over the heads of his colleagues and straight to the TV-viewing masses. Pulitika lang raw ang lahat-- what with his strongest opponents for the Presidency in 2010 being his fellow Senators. Nevermind that he could've answered the allegations point-for-point in the Senate hall. Oh well.

Yesterday, Sen. Bong Revilla (hmm, who could he be in bed with?) delivered a privilege speech on this Hayden Kho thing. I remember watching the news and thinking, what the fuck. Sa Senado? Ito?

Today, Katrina Halili, tears streaming down her face, vowed to fight until the people who leaked the video were brought to justice. Oh, she was at the Senate too.

Tomorrow, the Senators get to vote on whether the evidence presented against Villar is enough to warrant an investigation.

Ang galing lang ng nangyaring pagtabon ng issue kay Villar. Isang tapik (p're, nayayari na ako, gawa ka nga ng ingay diyan,) at tapos na ang lahat. Wala nang nakakaalala sa issue. Na-minimize ang damage kay Villar.

All this while Sen. Francis Pangilinan is busy severing his ties with the Liberal Party-- whose standard bearer Sen. Mar Roxas (yeah, yeah, my boss, but that's beside the point here,) is seen as one of Villar's strongest opponents in 2010.

There he was, saying that he had "differences" with the LP leadership. There he was, on-cam with Akbayan Rep. Risa Hontiveros, Ed Panlilio, and Grace Padaca (an LP member too,) "Rocking the vote." Conspicuously absent was a direct statement from any of these people saying whether or not they were siding with Pangilinan, or that they were just there to, well, rock the vote.

Oh, and Pangilinan and Villar have close ties too: both are members of the Senate's Wednesday group.

Ang galing nu'ng pagpaplano nito, 'no, and everything in short notice. Invisible hands at work (okay, maybe,) the power of the camera going full-force, and Villar, assuming there is indeed some sort of conspiracy here, resting easy on the knowledge that in this cynical, weatherbeaten archipelago of ours, the question isn't really what happened?-- the question is which of the things that happened is more interesting?

Wasn't it EJ Galang who wrote, in an old college poem, "The opposite of every truth is another truth."

Well. What more can I say.

This is a street and there is a child.

She threads a needle through the hearts

Of many flowers, barters it 

For a mouthful of rice.

Ipagbakasakali nating naaawa ka.

Nababagabag, maaari, o naaalisuag.

Kumukuyom ang lalamunan.

Napakaraming salin ng malasakit,

Misericordia in the tongue

Of those who have suffered, or whose 

Suffering is remembered. A tremor, 

A vine taking root in the heart,

At ilan nga ba ang pinapalad 

Makaunawa? Tinititigan ka niya.

Marahil masasabi ring

Tinititigan ninyo ang isa’t isa—

Two faces mirroring nothing

But a secret suffering 

Of words. Meaning, if only there were

Some other way to say this:

Sa atin lamang ito. Lihim

Nating hinagpis. Ibinubulong mo ito

Sa wika ng iyong panaginip. Pagtuklap

ng langib mula sa mga pantig ng

Misericordia. If only this were merely

A street. Some child holding up 

A string of flowers. Paano

Nga bang uunawain ang salitang unawa?